OMG Bill Cosby has Dementia!

Cosby ESPN
by bsap11

This was shown during last night's game between Ohio University and the Temple Owls. Wow, comedy legend ladies and gentlemen.

Its The WOOOOOOORLD SERIES!

Yep the whole world will be watching this and by the "whole world" I mean Philadelphia and Tampa. Listen as a die hard baseball fan I love this series. The Rays have a great pitching staff and the Phillies have a lot of power in their line-up, also it'll be interesting to watch how much of an advantage each stadium will bring the home teams.

For the casual fan this is not the most sexy match up so I have come up with a sweet drinking game for those that don't seem too interested. Prepare yourselves your favorite shot and get ready to down one every time the following words are said: Eva, Catwalk, Cowbell, Tugg McGraw (double shot), Devil, and Flying Hawaiian. I guarantee you'll be hammered by the third inning.

Rays in 7.

Top 5 Fantasy Players Week 7

Lets move on to the receivers. Its been a crap shoot with the wide receivers this year. Lots of big time players are struggling and others are making names for themselves. Here are the ones that had the best week. Top 5 WR (Based on points)

5. Randy Moss - Last season Randy was the #1 receiver all year even on bad days this guy found himself in the endzone. This year has been a different story and until Matt Cassel figures it out, Randy is going to continue to be pedestrian. HOWEVA when Champ Bailey went down on Monday night Randy broke out with 2 TDs. More on Moss next week with my mid-season report.

4. Steve Smith - I was watching the Saints and Panthers this past week and when Steve Smith made that catch in the endzone between two Saint defenders I was convinced, that Smith is the greatest WR under 6' in NFL History. This guy is small but fast, strong, crafty, and tough as nails. If Steve Smith were 6'3" he would be the best EVER! I like the Panthers' chances if Smith continues to make plays like the one he made on Sunday.

3. Andre Johnson - This guy is just phenomenal! If Andre Johnson played in Dallas and not Houston Terrell Owens would be the #2 guy. Johnson just makes plays week in and week out and no one seems to notice because he's not a loudmouthed diva. Well I've noticed that he's just had 3 straight awesome games! After a little bit of a slow start Andre is back to being possibly the best receiver you've never heard of.

2. Antonio Bryant - He's got the size, speed, and skills to be a good receiver he proved it on Sunday night by having a great game he just lacks the consistency to do it all the time. Bryant sometimes is unstoppable and then other times he disappears. Lets hope that he's gained more confidence after John Gruden has said that he will remain the starter even when Joey Galloway returns from injury.

1. Calvin Johnson - If the Lions can ever figure things out and turn that franchise around, they have the next Jerry Rice. While watching Johnson just glide from endzone to endzone after that 96 yard TD pass from Dan Orlovsky its easy to see why the Lions traded Roy Williams to the Cowboys. Calvin Johnson is an elite talent and he is being wasted in Detriot.

Alright lets get to top 5 tight ends for week 7 (based on points)

5. Tony Gonzalez - I feel bad for this guy, quite possibly one of the best tight ends ever and the Chiefs have sucked for a while now. Would have been nice to see him in a Giants uniform. Expect more Tony in Week 8 because with LJ missing this game it will be up to him and Dwayne Bowe to carry the offense.

4. Dallas Clark - This guy is schizophrenic, one week he is posting decent numbers for fantasy owners, then the next he vanishes. I've never trusted Dallas Clark.

3. Visanthe Shiancoe - I'm not going to lie I don't know anything about this guy other than he plays for the Vikings. His fantasy numbers are nothing to get excited about and he's had some decent weeks. I think this week he benefitted from a wild affair in Chicago, dont expect too much from him the rest of the way.

2. Greg Olsen - 3 out of the last 4 weeks Olsen has put some decent numbers. The Bears dont throw to the tight end much but when they do Olsen has answered the call. I think Olsen can be a good tight end in the NFL eventually.

1. Owen Daniels - He's been a solid target for the Texans this year and he will continue to be one all season.

Alright those were your top 5 fantasy football performers for week #7 based on points. Check back later on this week for my fantasy starters of the week and predictions.

Top 5 Fantasy Performers of Week 7

Another NFL weekend has passed and now its time to answer the important questions...Will the 49ers be better off with Mike Singletary? Who cares? How will the Dallas Cowboys bounce back after an embarrassing loss? NO!!!! Who is the best team in the NFL? Hell no...the real question is...How did my fantasy team do? Well Skippy it ain't pretty...Next week I will give my mid-season review. This week here are your top 5 performers in Fantasy Football. (Based on points earned)

Top 5 Running Backs

5. Dominic Rhodes - This one is no surprise to me. With Joseph Addai and Mike Hart out with injuries Rhodes was my top RB this past week. He knows the offense and Peyton trusts him.

4. Adrian Peterson - No shocker here. "All Day" Peterson will make everyone's top 5 lists for the next 7-10 years. Plus he owns the Bears

3. Mewelde Moore - Mr. Moore made fantasy owners very happy this week with a nice performance. Two touchdowns and 120 rushing yards, granted it was against the Bengals so I won't expect Mewelde to do this every week but as long as Willie Parker remains hurt he is a nice fantasy option.

2. Lendale White - Fat boy is having a very nice season. He may not get the yards but he gets those TDs(three this past week). However Fat boy squashed the Chiefs with 149 yards on the ground included in there was an 80 yard run.

1. Steven Jackson - I think the firing of Scott Linehan will have the biggest impact on Jackson. Linehan likes to throw the ball and Jim Haslett likes to run it. So expect more games like these from Jackson. I think the Rams will be a better team in the second half of the season and Steven Jackson will be the reason why.

Top 5 Quarterbacks (Based on Points earned)

Its been a weird year for the QB and this week's top five should prove that.


5. Ben Roethlisberger - two TD passes and no INTs is a great game for Big Ben who does have the tendency to throw a pick every now and again. No big fantasy numbers this year but you'll get a nice game out of him more often then not.

4. Matt Cassel - You'd think if you had Randy Moss and Wes Welker to throw to you'd be the top QB in the league but that has proved difficult for Cassel this year. Monday night however he looked very impressive against a weak Denver defense and was able to throw 3 TDs. I think Cassel is going to continue to struggle especially when they take on tougher defenses. Denver is not a good team, despite what you see their offense doing.

3. Kyle Orton - Orton has steadily improved every week this year. It helps to have Matt Forte in the backfield but Kyle has led the Bears to some impressive wins this year and if the running game stays consistent Chicago can find themselves in the hunt later on this season.

2. Dan Orlovsky - The only reason this guy is on the list this week is because of a 96 yard touchdown he threw to Calvin Johnson. The Lions are an embarrassment this season and is my pick for worst team of 2008.

1. Jeff Garcia - Nice game for Jeff, he had a favorable match-up going up against the struggling Seahawks and he made some nice throwns to Antonio Bryant. The Bucs however dont have enough fire power to really scare anyone so I expect them to falter against teams that have better defenses. Sure the Bucs can beat most, if not all, of the lesser teams but they are by no means a good team. They are a nice team.

Those were your Top 5 running backs and quarterbacks for week #7.

Later on wide receivers and tight ends, and maybe some football talk (HEY!) PEAS!

Video of the Day

This video has been making the rounds all over the blog-o-verse and it is, HILARIOUS!!!



That is SEC official Wilbur Hackett Jr., a former linebacker for the University of Kentucky back in the late 60's, making the tackle on Gamecocks' QB Stephen Garcia. SEC officials have already commented on the play saying that "He [Hackett] was defending himself by raising his arms."

Yep whenever I wanna protect myself I like to give an unsuspecting bystander a forearm shiver. Got to get them before they get me, is what I always say. Looked like Ol'Hacky had a flashback and forgot he was the Ref.

Vote for me Round 2

I'd like to thank everyone who voted for me in the first round you guys ROCK! Now once again I need your support its round 2 so vote for me again. Click on my name below to vote. Thanks.

DAVID ALLEN

My Balls are Bouncing

Well the NBA Draft lottery came and went and the Chicago Bulls emerge victorious as they secure the #1 pick. The Bulls had a 1.7% chance of winning. The Miami Heat who had the best chance of getting the #1 pick at 25% will pick at #2 and the Minnesota Timberwolves will pick at #3.

The rest of the order is as follows:

#4 Seattle Sonics
#5 Memphis Grizzlies
#6 New York Knicks
#7 LA Clippers
#8 Milwaukee Bucks
#9 Charlotte Bobcats
#10 NJ Nets
#11 Indiana Pacers
#12 Sacramento Kings
#13 Portland Trailblazers
#14 Golden State Warriors

15-30 here.

Video of the day

Here is your video of the day. Why this video? Well because I love boobs...Who doesn't?

Hottie of the Day

Due to some technical issues (forgot to pay for the internet) I wasn't able to post yesterday. However I'M BACK don't wet yourself with excitement. Anyway today's Hottie of the day is none other than Nadine Velazquez. She plays Catalina the uber hot motel maid on the NBC show "My Name is Earl"

Alright on to the real reason we all love her.

Coming Back

So I know I've been a lazy asshole and I haven't updated the site in a while, but back off bitch I got things to do! Anywho I'll be back tomorrow with a big (small) roll-out. All your favs will be back. Video of the day, hotties, funny shit and anything else I find interesting.

See ya tomorrow, you don't have to go home but you gotta get the hell outta here. In the meantime enjoy some hand vagina.

VOTE FOR ME!!!

Whats up guys I know I haven't updated the blog in a few days... No reason its just because I've been busy and lazy at the same time if that makes any sense ANYWAY!! I have entered a Contest on KLAC in Los Angeles. Its called Fame and Fortune 2. They are looking for the next great amateur sports host and I was selected as one of the contestants. Winners are determined by votes so go to this link and vote for me. David Allen. They misspelled my name but its all good. VOTE EARLY AND VOTE OFTEN. Your support would be greatly appreciated.

VOTE David Allen
VOTE David Allen
VOTE David Allen
VOTE David Allen

Click on all those to vote for ME...DAVID ALLEN

Once you vote you must check your Email to validate your vote so it will count. HELP ME WIN and if do, I will Heart all you guys forever!!!

Video of the Day

This year the NBA playoffs have been real physical and we've had some tough contests. The only complaint I have are those stupid split screen commercials. I have to admit at first I thought they were cool, interesting, and pretty original. However that changed quickly when the NBA marketing staff was too lazy to write more than three scripts, then we saw the guys saying the same thing over and over. The commercials just became lame and annoying. Well my friends leave it to Adam Sandler to give us a nice little spoof of the commercials along with "Hollywood" Baron Davis (trying out a new nickname)

Hottie of the Day

Today's hottie of the day is the vivacious Jenna Fischer. Most if not all of you may know her from the hit TV show "The Office" as the lovable Pam. She's also been in "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox story."

Some bio facts on Jenna:

"Birth name: Regina Marie Fischer"

"Worked as a receptionist in various offices. Types 85 WPM with 90% accuracy." (Man can you imagine what those fingers are like on your nuts.)

"Considered becoming a veterinarian due to her love for animals; ultimately opted for working with Kitten Rescue and being the proud owner of a dog and a cat." (She loves the pussy)

"Fractured her back in four places after falling down a set of stairs at the NYC bar, Baddakan, on May 15, 2007." (She knows how to party)

On to the real reason we all love her.

Whats happening today?

So what the hell is going on today? Seriously I'm asking you because I have no idea...

Loads of MLB action today.

In the NBA its game two of the Cavs and Celtics. Lets hope these guys can bounce back after a God awful game one. LeBron James is looking to rebound from a 2-for-18 night and Ray Allen is going to try and score at least one point. You can catch that game at 7 pm over at ESPN. Celts up 1-0

At 9:30 the Hornets and the Spurs play game 3 of their series. New Orleans' youth so far has been too much for the old Spurs but they are back home and are looking to get back into it. That game also on ESPN. Hornets up 2-0

HOCKEY!!! Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals Dallas Stars VERSUS The Detroit Red Wings. If you can find the game you can watch it a 7:30 pm.

If sports ain't your thing then whats on TV Tonight?

This is what the Networks are bringing you:

ABC:
8pm "Ugly Betty" (I had a GF in high school that they called ugly whorebag, wonder why?)
9pm "Grey's Anatomy"

CBS:
8pm "Survivor Micronesia--Fans Vs Favs" (I nearly didn't survive writing all that out)
9pm "CSI"(How many of these shows are there)

FOX:
8pm "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" (Nope)
9pm "Don't Forget the Lyrics" (Does anyone remember this show is still on?)

NBC:
8pm "My Name is Earl" (Jason Lee will always be Pickle Fucker to me)
8:30pm "Scrubs"
9pm "The Office" (Steve Carrell love that guy. Yes in that way) ;o)
9:30pm "30 Rock"

So a Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar...Ah you don't wanna hear that get the hell outta here you crazy kids.

5 (or so) things to check out

Here are some things you guys should check out today.

Charles Barkley is one of the most refreshing and honest analysts out there but he is also a dumbass.

Not far from dumbassery is former Celtic, Sonic and now Cavs guard Delonte West going on a possibly herpes induced rant.

Continuing on our dumbass streak the Cincinnati Reds mascot lost his head over Joey Votto hitting 3 homeruns.

The Chicago Tribune got a hold of a photo of Cedric Benson on his boat right before the cops beat and pepper sprayed him.

Then their is this video from one of my favorite childhood cartoons.

Fat Guy in a Little Coat

Andy Reid is fat, I mean really fat. Its a miracle that during an Eagle game he hasn't whipped out a cheesesteak and devoured it right there as he calls the plays. For fat guys all they want to think about is eating so Reid must be extra pissed off this morning that he had to skip breakfast for this crap...

"Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's son was sent to state prison after admitting he smuggled 89 prescription pills into a county jail. Garrett Reid pleaded guilty to drug smuggling charges on Wednesday and faces a minimum of two years in state prison." Miami Herald

What? Your not supposed to smuggle drugs in jail? How else are the inmates going to suppress the pain of getting anally raped?

Stuff That happened Today

"Wow what an exciting day" is what I would have said had this day been exciting but its just another day.

Lots of MLB action today.

Some guy name Votto nailed three homers today for Cincinnati. He was just doing his part as the Reds nailed SEVEN homeruns to blowout the struggling Cubs.

Barry Zito continues to steal money from the Giants by losing AGAIN.

Finally, Mike Lowell hit his second homerun of the season in a loss to the Tigers. Its official Mike Lowell has more homers than balls.

In other Mike Lowell related news he has a new book out called "Deep Drive."

Some rejected titles for Lowell's book: "Ball One" and "One Bat, One Ball."

In NBA action the Magic finally got their money's worth out of Rashard Lewis who had a big night to help Orlando defeat the Pistons. Chauncey Billups left the game early when he tried to do a split on the court for some reason and hurt his hamstring. After that the Pistons became retarded for 10 minutes then remembered they were playing a basketball game, but it was too late.

As I type this the Lakers lead the Jazz in the 3rd quarter 78-66 in a game I am pretty sure the Lakers will win because the Jazz can't win a game on the road even if you kidnap all their wives. However to be fair sometimes you want your wife to be kidnapped. Speaking of guys that want their wife kidnapped, Kobe Bryant received his MVP award before the game.

In other NBA News as I watched tonight I noticed that LeBron James has a new commercial and I can't help and think about his game last night 2-for-18 shooting... Yep great time to debut a new commercial. If you haven't seen it here it is.

Bloggin' From The Florida Marlins Game

From time to time I might let you bastards in on my life because I don't want this to be one of those lame blogs about my life and what I do and all that. Not that I don't love reading those blogs because its a good way to stalk someone without having to climb on trees. Well anyway tonight I am at a Marlins game doing my "job." I work for a local radio station in Miami, FL as a remote engineer and member of the media so if your looking at this site wondering "what the hell does this guy know?" Well buddy I know a lot. Any who here are some pics I took tonight. Enjoy or don't I don't care, what do I look like your dad? **UPDATE Marlins won 6-2**

Hottie of The Day

Today's hottie is non other than Maria Menounos because I heart her. She's been in "Kickin' it Old School" and "Fantastic Four." Some other interesting facts about Maria Menounos are the following:

Was Miss Massachusetts Teen USA 1996.

She is of Greek descent. (I wonder if she likes anal?)

Speaks Greek fluently (Yep she does)

Owns the solid gold and pearl handled revolver that Elvis Presley gave to Jack Lord.

Avid Professional Wrestling fan. Former WWE Champion Bob Backlund has been both a friend and part time bodyguard. (wrestling nerds the world over are overjoyed but you'll still never bang her)

Worked at Dunkin Donuts, making and selling donuts through junior high and high school. (How many times do you think she heard "I wanna eat your donut" probably never because that was lame.)

Check the rest out and here.

Now on to the real reason we all love her.

WHOOPS!

Maybe its time to use an hour glass those babies are always working

"After reviewing the video of last night's Pistons-Magic game, we determined that the play that concluded with Chauncey Billups' 3-point field goal at the end of the third quarter took approximately 5.7 seconds," Litvin said in a statement. "Because there were only 5.1 seconds remaining in the quarter when the play began, the shot would not have counted had the clock continued to run." AP

Ok so let me do some math here. 100 minus 3, carry the one...plug in the variable. F(x) = Van Gundy looks like a porn star. Magic scored 93 equals Magic still lost.

Waah get over it Stan Van Jeremy.

Whats going on today?

On ESPN tonight you can catch the Indians and the Yankees 7 pm. Then next week you can catch "Cooking with the Yanks" if that doesn't sway you don't miss "Home Makeovers with the Yankees." Next fall on ESPN catch the new hit comedy "Derek and Me", starring Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez. ESPN your home for Yankees baseball.

8 pm on TNT Pistons-Magic game 3. Lets hope the officials bring their stopwatches for this one.

10:30 pm on TNT Jazz-Lakers game 2. Tonight before the tip off watch as Kobe smugly accepts his MVP award.

If you feel like watching a sport that no one is watching anymore tune to ESPN2 at 9 pm.

If sports ain't your thing then whats on TV Tonight?

Not a dam thing! Seriously Wednesday has to be one of the worst nights of television.

However if you insist on watching TV tonight here is what the networks are bringing you.

ABC:
"Wife Swap" 8 pm (My neighbor does this everyday but he calls it something else)
"Super Nanny" 9 pm

NBC:
"Deal or No Deal" 8 pm (Watch as OCD sufferer Howie Mandel avoids all types of contact with the contestants)

CBS:
"Price is Right: Million Dollar spectacular" 8 pm (it doesn't mean they are giving away that much, thats just Drew Carey's salary per show)
"Criminal Minds" 9 pm

FOX:
"'Til Death'" 8 pm
"Back to You" 8:30 pm
"American Idol" 9 pm (Boo!)

Writer's Choice:
"Going Postal: 15 Most Shocking Acts of Violence" E! 8 pm

Your Video of the Day

Pittsburgh Slims - "Girls Kiss Girls"

Check back in a few, for your Hottie of the Day and to see whats happening today. Also check my archives for cool shit you may have missed.

In the meantime leave me the hell alone. Jesus I hate it when you get all clingy

CREEPY!

So this guy has to be the creep of the year.

"Josef Fritzl, 73, imprisoned Elisabeth in the cellar in 1984, when she was aged 18, but police revealed that he had started planning the dungeon as early as 1978.

The moustachioed septuagenarian, dubbed a "monster" in the Austrian press, received planning permission to extend his house at 40 Ybbsstrasse in 1978, and worked on it for five years.

Fritzl has confessed to imprisoning and raping his daughter, now 42, and will be interviewed by investigating prosecutors later this week, possibly Wednesday or Thursday, spokesman Gerhard Sedlacek said." AFP

You know what they say if you love something, build a dungeon in your basement and rape it for 24 years. Then let it go and if it comes back rape it again.

Words to live by I say.

Start Saving Now

What costs $3 million dollars and no one gives a crap about? No not that.

That'll be a commercial for the super bowl.

"The $3 million mark has never been the starting price for a commercial at the Super Bowl, though individual slots have sold for that much before, the report said.

Prices to buy a 30-second spot for the 2008 Super Bowl averaged $2.7 million, it was reported earlier." Reuters

Alright lets see, if I diversify some funds, move some things around, punch my nephew in the face and take his allowance, smash my goddaughter's piggy bank. That will still leave me as a broke douchebag.

5 (or so) Things to check out

Everyone's favorite tight end...No not Kim Kardashian. Washington Redskins' Chris Cooley was on the Blog Show and he talks about his hot fiance, beer bongs, and overpaid NFL Rookies. With Leather.

Randy Moss found a nice filly to ride at the Kentucky Derby.

Here is how to apply for the NBA Draft. Awful Announcing.

Basketbawful's Word of the Day. Mario

Sid Rosenberg's website is something else. Don't call him a Hein because he'll slit your throat.

Wednesday Morning Cleveage

Note to self Corona and Tequila are GREAT!!! My cinco de mayo was hang overly great. However I did not post yesterday and as a way of making it up to you here is a great set of mammaries that I had dubbed "Rack of the Day" Thanks to my boy Alan Strauss for taking the pic enjoy.



More later...

Your Video of the Day

So I was killing some time before I went to go look at all my porn and I stumbled across a sweet video at SbB.



"Would a slice of pizza change your mind?" That sounds eerily familiar.

Also thanks to Awful Announcing.

Whip Out Those Sombreros!

Alright I get to get piss ass drunk today and nobody will be pointing and laughing! Listen I didn't know that you were supposed to spit the wine after five secs into some new fangled spittoon. The important part is that the wine server guy has forgiven me.

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!



First some fun(?) facts about Cinco de Mayo

"Cinco de Mayo means 'The Fifth of May'" (Phew glad they cleared that up)

"Guadalajara, Mexico’s second largest city, is where the Mexican Hat Dance, sombreros and mariachi music are believed to have originated." (Thank you Guadalajara)

"A Mexican cowboy is called a 'charro.' A Mexican rodeo is called a 'charreada.'" (Mmm charreada)

Check out the rest of the facts here.

Now we can't have a great celebration without some food and beer.

"Serve extremely thin corn tortillas, historically signaling the most elite of the upper crust, and bypass the Corona beer in favor of Negro Modelo or Tecatethe brews that Mexicans think you should be drinking anyway." (Good enough for Mexico good enough for me)

"They say, 'Why do Americans buy Corona or Carta Blanca?' " (They have big shiny displays)

"He watches with interest as tortillerias bloom throughout Colorado and the Southwest, evidence that in less than 20 years, tortillas have become so assimilated into U.S. cuisine that sales are surpassed only by white bread." (Lesbians and white people oppressing someone! That article took a turn for the worse)

Read the rest here.

Whats a party without some nerds ruining our buzz.

"Today thousands of Americans will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with Mexican food and drinks, such as Coronas, margaritas and enchiladas. What they may not know is that Cinco de Mayo didn’t even originate in Mexico." (Dude your totally blowing up our spot! Dick!)

So what? Hallmark invented Valentine's Day. Yet not one woman in history has ever said "No I will not take that diamond necklace honey, this holiday is a shame!"

"The cash-register display blinks up party items: three dozen limes, four bags of chips, a 25-foot-long palm tree and ... six-pack after six-pack after six-pack of Corona beer. Finally, these words ring up on the register: "Are You Ready for Cinco de Mayo?" The TV commercial's implicit point? That Cinco de Mayo (May 5) is nothing but a time to get totally wasted."(I see no problem with that)

Alright now go do whatever the hell you want because frankly I don't give a damn.

5 (or so) Things To Check Out

Whats the best way to bust out of a slump? For Dmitri Young its happy endings.

The next Erin Andrews?

Cedric Benson, drunk and pepper sprayed.

Soccer desperate for some U.S. attention now setting their players on fire.

Who is the sexiest woman on the planet? THE FINAL FOUR! Vote now.

My friend Jamie gives us the behind the scenes on the future Jim Carrey movie and eggplant. Cupcake Pajamas

John Bale Vs Door - Winner?

Door by unanimous decision

"Royals left-hander John Bale won’t be returning to active duty anytime soon after breaking his pitching hand Friday night by punching a door at the team’s downtown hotel." KC Star.

Later on I think someone overheard John Bale talking how the door was dissing his girl.

Thx SbB for the pic

D

Hey My Bad Pizza Is On Me Dude

So after dissing LeBron for the whole series now Papa Johns feels bad.

"Papa John's Pizza issued an apology to Cleveland and the Cavaliers for making T-shirts with LeBron James' number and the word "crybaby" under it.

To apologize, Papa John's will sell Cleveland residents a large, one-topping pizza for 23 cents on Thursday. The 23 is an homage to James' jersey number. The company also will donate $10,000 to the Cavaliers Youth Fund." AP

23 cents, plus tip, tax, delivery and processing fees equals $12.54. WOW still a bargin.

D

Top 5

These are your Top 5 movies and songs of the past week. This will be a weekly Monday thing so...yea.

Movies

#1 "Iron Man" pulled in over $100. No surprise here, the real surprise would be if Robert Downey Jr doesn't go back to the heroin.

#2 "Made of Honor", thousands of nutless men are still waiting for the blow job their girlfriends promised for watching this movie.

#3 "Baby Mama" I wanna bend Tina Fey over and kick her straight in the ass then bang Amy Poehler.

#4 "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, and Jason Segal's penis perfect ingrediants for humor.

#5 "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" Pot = Comedy gold.

Check the rest of the list here.

Songs

#1 Leona Lewis - "Bleeding Love" WHO?

#2 Lil Wayne Feat. Static Major - "Lollipop" I love remakes of 50s songs.

#3 Jordin Sparks Duet w Chris Brown - "No Air" I would have called this one "No Talent"

#4 Madonna - "4 minutes" of my life I will never get back.

#5 Usher Feat. Young Jeezy "Love in this Club" thanks to RHB now everyone can have love in the club

Check the rest of the list here.

Shit that happenned on Sunday

The Celtics finally decided to show up and they proceeded to gang bang the Hawks. I think the final score was like 1258 - 34. Or something like that. The Celtics now move on to the second round and host the Cleveland Lebronaniers starting on Tuesday night. Celtics in 7? Yea I'll stick with that.

The Jazz once again showed everyone how incompetent they are away from home and got smacked by the Lakers in game one of their second round series. I don't understand how the Jazz can be this bad away from home I mean what the hell? Do Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer have some one wipe their asses because I'm pretty sure they are retarded away from Utah.

Lots of MLB action today.

Hockey is a game enjoyed by Canadians.

This Sunday sucked...Come back later there will be other things on here.

D

Hottie of the Day

Today's Hottie of the day is none other than Mayra Veronica. She was at last night's Marlins' game to throw out the first pitch and to give boners to anyone within a 30 yard radius.

Whats Going on Today?

Deadspin has your ultimate guide to today's sporting adventures.

Sports by Brooks keeps us update to date on the Reggie Bush law suit that not a soul cares about. I think if you have the last name Bush you can pretty much get involved in any scandal and no one will be surprised.

Cedric Benson RB Bears, drunk while boating then pepper sprayed.

Its now time to enjoy some Sunday Afternoon Boobage. (NSFW)

More later... D

OH GOD DWYANE WADE IS FUCKING STAR JONES!!

Thats the kind of answer you get from someone that is fucking someone else but just doesn't want to admit it because he knows it will hurt his rep.

I hope its not true...all that loose skin...oh...I just had to hold back some vomit. Like I was saying I hope its not true. I mean come on Wade everybody is fucking Kim Kardasian I know you can get some of that action.

As for Star Jones... WTF Bitch?! All of a sudden that dude is not good enough for you? He seemed perfect 150 lbs ago. Hell that guy should be awarded the Medal of Honor for banging you when you looked like a rhino. Geez you'd think a person wouldn't change after they've had 90% of their stomach removed.

Shit that Happenned on Saturday

There were a bunch of baseball games played.

The Hornets defeated the Spurs in a game that saw a 20 min delay between the first and second quarters because the Hornets mascot was a GENIUS! (Story below)

The Pistons defeated the Orlando Magic in I'm pretty sure a game that no one had any idea was being played today. Dwight Howard hurt his thumb all accounts from the game say that Howard was trying to touch that white crap in Rasheed Wallace's hair and jammed it.

Some horse that reminds people of doodie won the Kentucky Derby, another horse was killed on the track, and Hank Goldberg got fatter live on TV.

Some redneck drove his car faster than other rednecks.

The Olympic torch is now in China. Won't be long now till they use that bad boy to burn any dissidents.

Evidentially hockey season is not over yet...WHO KNEW?

I found out that Kennedy is still alive.

Oh and my dog ate a dead bird, then left it for me as a gift in the middle of the kitchen. I still love that bitch.

D

Dog chased by Crazy Celebrities

Looks like a Baseball game broke out in the middle of a movie being shot.

"A backdrop to the Marlins beating the Padres, 6-4, on Friday night was the shooting of a scene for the upcoming movie 'Marley & Me,' starring Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson.

Friday was a "Bark at the Park" night for the Marlins, a promotion through which fans can bring their dogs to the stadium. And as it happened, a dog running on the field is part of a scene in the movie..." MLB

Wow two big time celebrities filming a movie during a baseball game. Why didn't anyone hear about this? Oh yea...No one goes to Marlins games.

Shit if celebrities want to get away from all the invasion of privacy they suffer from everyday they should attend Marlins games, can't get any more private and secluded than that.

D

Cheerleader Pics You May Have Missed

You know since this site is in it's infancy stages I'd thought I would help it out by posting links to some sexy cheerleader pics. There have been a rash of these types of activities in recent memory. (YEA YEA we should all have this rash)

Recently the Arizona State University Cheerleaders partook in the underwear shanigans. With Leather has the Story and The Dirty has the pics.

The Sacramento King dancers? YES!

Don Chavez has some NSFW pics of an Indiana Cheerleader that goes beyond the panties.

I am sure more to come in the future.

D

You think what Ralph Sampson did was bad?

Coaching boys should have been easy for this guy, but unfortunately his boner got in the way.


"According to Champlin Police, 23-year-old Phillip Franklin Chwialkowski allegedly sent inappropriate text messages to two 11-year-old boys. One of them attends Oxbow Creek Elementary School where Chwialkowski works as an Adventures Plus staff member.

One of the boy's parents found a message on his phone from Chwialkowski asking for a naked picture." KAALtv

You know this situation only brings one question to mind for me.

Why was I never hit on when I was a kid? Was I not cute and supple enough?

Five (or so) things you should check out

1. Remember Daisy Fuentes? Give it a second...YEAH HER! Well she finally showed her boobs and to tell you the truth its like finally fucking a girl you've had a crush on for 10 years and mid bang you finally figure out that smell is her va-jay-jay.

For those that don't mind the smell you can check the pictures on one my favorite sites(NSFW) WWTDD.

2. Some Mexican guy at a soccer game nailed a cop with a bass drum. With Leather

3. Basketbawful has helped me come up with the new slogan for the NBA Playoffs. "The NBA Playoffs where thug tactics happen."

4. HOLY FUCK! Someone actually is considering having sex with Carrot Flop! Now I don't know if the girl in these pictures even had sex with him but for her sake lets hope he misplaced his prop suitcase. dlisted

5. My friend Dana is a reporter for 790 The Ticket in Miami, FL. She's on the Marlins beat right now and Dana gets the scoop straight from the players check out her blog right here.

6. Girls in underwear is always nice and its nicer when they are cheerleaders. SPORTS by BROOKS.

Also check out Ironman its awesome.

Look for more things to check out and coming soon other shit.

The Hornets Mascot is S-M-R-T...I mean S-M-A-R-T

For this next post I think I'm going to reenact the New Orleans Hornets meeting between the PR staff and the Marketing team.

Marketing guy(MG) 1 - "Alright this is the first time in history that a basketball team from New Orleans has made it to the second round of the playoffs. How can we make a big splash?"

Mascot Douche(MD) - "Umm I can dunk a basketball through a ring of fire."

MG 1 - "PERFECT!"

MG 2 - "That doesn't sound very safe and maybe something..."

MG 1 - "QUIET YOU!"

MD - "Yea Dude, what can possibly go wrong?"

"Trouble putting out a ring of fire used in a mascot stunt caused a 19-minute delay during Game 1 of the San Antonio Spurs and New Orleans Hornets second round playoff series Saturday night." USA Today

Mascot Douche (a day later) - "Oh."

Hottie of the Day

My Very first Hottie of the day will go to Hillary Duff. Did you think I was giving it to Miley Cyrus? What kind of sicko do you take me for Karl Malone? Listen just because I go by the Motto "if there is grass on the field play ball" Doesn't mean I own any underage porn or anything like that, that would be crazy.

Anyway Hillary has grown into a smokin' hottie and she deserves the honor. If you wanna see the rest of the spread check them out at on 205th.

Yea the Kentucky Derby is Safe for Horses

Apparently today was the Kentucky Derby. How did I know that because I woke up this morning turned my TV on and who's mug do I see?

None other than Hank Goldberg. I've had the misfortune of being in the same room as this guy on multiple occasions and folks it aint pretty.

However he did bang Katie Couric back in the day, you know those days when Hank didn't need a mirror to find his penis.

Anyway so some horse named Big Brown (POOP) won the derby and escaped death. Because apparently if you finish second they kill the horse.

"The race was marred by the death of runner-up Eight Belles, who collapsed after the wire after fracturing both front ankles. The brave and massive gray filly, trained by Larry Jones and owned by Fox Hill Farms, was euthanized almost immediately on track." Salem-News

Both Ankles? Who was riding this horse Shaquille O'neal. Let this be a lesson to you kids, DONT LOSE!

Welcome!

So this is it, my blog. Who's Buzz? That'll be Buzz Bissinger, he hates blogs. He wrote "Friday Night Lights" (the novel not the crappy NBC TV show) Buzz thinks blogs are cruel and are contributing to the dumbing down of the country. He said it on Bob Costas' show "Costas Now" as a part of a panel that included Deadspin's creator Will Leitch and for some reason Braylon Edwards was there. Buzz let Will have it read all about it here, watch it here, and get Will's final thoughts here.

Did Buzz bring up some good points? Yes. However his point was lost because of the cruelty he showed towards Will Leitch.

Once Buzz had some time to think he joined Dan LeBatard from 790 The Ticket WAXY-AM in Miami. You can hear the complete interview here.

One thing, what the hell was Braylon Edwards doing there? Right at the top Braylon was asked if he read sports blogs and if he blogged himself and the answer of course was "no."

If I were a producer of that show I think that would have been the first question I would have asked him BEFORE putting him on the show. I guess T.J. Houshmandzadeh wasn't available.

Does Buzz really hate my blog? I dont think so but I hope he will in the future. Will I contribute to the dumbing down of America? I think I've been doing that for 26 years so why stop now.

I'll be posting everyday (maybe) about a various amount of things. So enjoy.

I'm Out,

D