Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Well the NBA Draft lottery came and went and the Chicago Bulls emerge victorious as they secure the #1 pick. The Bulls had a 1.7% chance of winning. The Miami Heat who had the best chance of getting the #1 pick at 25% will pick at #2 and the Minnesota Timberwolves will pick at #3.
The rest of the order is as follows:
#4 Seattle Sonics
#5 Memphis Grizzlies
#6 New York Knicks
#7 LA Clippers
#8 Milwaukee Bucks
#9 Charlotte Bobcats
#10 NJ Nets
#11 Indiana Pacers
#12 Sacramento Kings
#13 Portland Trailblazers
#14 Golden State Warriors
Alright on to the real reason we all love her.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
See ya tomorrow, you don't have to go home but you gotta get the hell outta here. In the meantime enjoy some hand vagina.
Friday, May 16, 2008
VOTE David Allen
VOTE David Allen
VOTE David Allen
VOTE David Allen
Click on all those to vote for ME...DAVID ALLEN
Once you vote you must check your Email to validate your vote so it will count. HELP ME WIN and if do, I will Heart all you guys forever!!!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Some bio facts on Jenna:
"Birth name: Regina Marie Fischer"
"Worked as a receptionist in various offices. Types 85 WPM with 90% accuracy." (Man can you imagine what those fingers are like on your nuts.)
"Considered becoming a veterinarian due to her love for animals; ultimately opted for working with Kitten Rescue and being the proud owner of a dog and a cat." (She loves the pussy)
"Fractured her back in four places after falling down a set of stairs at the NYC bar, Baddakan, on May 15, 2007." (She knows how to party)
On to the real reason we all love her.
So what the hell is going on today? Seriously I'm asking you because I have no idea...
Loads of MLB action today.
In the NBA its game two of the Cavs and Celtics. Lets hope these guys can bounce back after a God awful game one. LeBron James is looking to rebound from a 2-for-18 night and Ray Allen is going to try and score at least one point. You can catch that game at 7 pm over at ESPN. Celts up 1-0
At 9:30 the Hornets and the Spurs play game 3 of their series. New Orleans' youth so far has been too much for the old Spurs but they are back home and are looking to get back into it. That game also on ESPN. Hornets up 2-0
HOCKEY!!! Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals Dallas Stars VERSUS The Detroit Red Wings. If you can find the game you can watch it a 7:30 pm.
If sports ain't your thing then whats on TV Tonight?
This is what the Networks are bringing you:
8pm "Ugly Betty" (I had a GF in high school that they called ugly whorebag, wonder why?)
9pm "Grey's Anatomy"
8pm "Survivor Micronesia--Fans Vs Favs" (I nearly didn't survive writing all that out)
9pm "CSI"(How many of these shows are there)
8pm "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" (Nope)
9pm "Don't Forget the Lyrics" (Does anyone remember this show is still on?)
8pm "My Name is Earl" (Jason Lee will always be Pickle Fucker to me)
9pm "The Office" (Steve Carrell love that guy. Yes in that way) ;o)
9:30pm "30 Rock"
So a Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar...Ah you don't wanna hear that get the hell outta here you crazy kids.
Charles Barkley is one of the most refreshing and honest analysts out there but he is also a dumbass.
Not far from dumbassery is former Celtic, Sonic and now Cavs guard Delonte West going on a possibly herpes induced rant.
Continuing on our dumbass streak the Cincinnati Reds mascot lost his head over Joey Votto hitting 3 homeruns.
The Chicago Tribune got a hold of a photo of Cedric Benson on his boat right before the cops beat and pepper sprayed him.
Then their is this video from one of my favorite childhood cartoons.
Andy Reid is fat, I mean really fat. Its a miracle that during an Eagle game he hasn't whipped out a cheesesteak and devoured it right there as he calls the plays. For fat guys all they want to think about is eating so Reid must be extra pissed off this morning that he had to skip breakfast for this crap...
"Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's son was sent to state prison after admitting he smuggled 89 prescription pills into a county jail. Garrett Reid pleaded guilty to drug smuggling charges on Wednesday and faces a minimum of two years in state prison." Miami Herald
What? Your not supposed to smuggle drugs in jail? How else are the inmates going to suppress the pain of getting anally raped?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Lots of MLB action today.
Some guy name Votto nailed three homers today for Cincinnati. He was just doing his part as the Reds nailed SEVEN homeruns to blowout the struggling Cubs.
Barry Zito continues to steal money from the Giants by losing AGAIN.
Finally, Mike Lowell hit his second homerun of the season in a loss to the Tigers. Its official Mike Lowell has more homers than balls.
In other Mike Lowell related news he has a new book out called "Deep Drive."
Some rejected titles for Lowell's book: "Ball One" and "One Bat, One Ball."
In NBA action the Magic finally got their money's worth out of Rashard Lewis who had a big night to help Orlando defeat the Pistons. Chauncey Billups left the game early when he tried to do a split on the court for some reason and hurt his hamstring. After that the Pistons became retarded for 10 minutes then remembered they were playing a basketball game, but it was too late.
As I type this the Lakers lead the Jazz in the 3rd quarter 78-66 in a game I am pretty sure the Lakers will win because the Jazz can't win a game on the road even if you kidnap all their wives. However to be fair sometimes you want your wife to be kidnapped. Speaking of guys that want their wife kidnapped, Kobe Bryant received his MVP award before the game.
In other NBA News as I watched tonight I noticed that LeBron James has a new commercial and I can't help and think about his game last night 2-for-18 shooting... Yep great time to debut a new commercial. If you haven't seen it here it is.
Was Miss Massachusetts Teen USA 1996.
She is of Greek descent. (I wonder if she likes anal?)
Speaks Greek fluently (Yep she does)
Owns the solid gold and pearl handled revolver that Elvis Presley gave to Jack Lord.
Avid Professional Wrestling fan. Former WWE Champion Bob Backlund has been both a friend and part time bodyguard. (wrestling nerds the world over are overjoyed but you'll still never bang her)
Worked at Dunkin Donuts, making and selling donuts through junior high and high school. (How many times do you think she heard "I wanna eat your donut" probably never because that was lame.)
Check the rest out and here.
Now on to the real reason we all love her.
Maybe its time to use an hour glass those babies are always working
"After reviewing the video of last night's Pistons-Magic game, we determined that the play that concluded with Chauncey Billups' 3-point field goal at the end of the third quarter took approximately 5.7 seconds," Litvin said in a statement. "Because there were only 5.1 seconds remaining in the quarter when the play began, the shot would not have counted had the clock continued to run." AP
Ok so let me do some math here. 100 minus 3, carry the one...plug in the variable. F(x) = Van Gundy looks like a porn star. Magic scored 93 equals Magic still lost.
Waah get over it Stan Van Jeremy.
On ESPN tonight you can catch the Indians and the Yankees 7 pm. Then next week you can catch "Cooking with the Yanks" if that doesn't sway you don't miss "Home Makeovers with the Yankees." Next fall on ESPN catch the new hit comedy "Derek and Me", starring Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez. ESPN your home for Yankees baseball.
8 pm on TNT Pistons-Magic game 3. Lets hope the officials bring their stopwatches for this one.
10:30 pm on TNT Jazz-Lakers game 2. Tonight before the tip off watch as Kobe smugly accepts his MVP award.
If you feel like watching a sport that no one is watching anymore tune to ESPN2 at 9 pm.
If sports ain't your thing then whats on TV Tonight?
Not a dam thing! Seriously Wednesday has to be one of the worst nights of television.
However if you insist on watching TV tonight here is what the networks are bringing you.
"Wife Swap" 8 pm (My neighbor does this everyday but he calls it something else)
"Super Nanny" 9 pm
"Deal or No Deal" 8 pm (Watch as OCD sufferer Howie Mandel avoids all types of contact with the contestants)
"Price is Right: Million Dollar spectacular" 8 pm (it doesn't mean they are giving away that much, thats just Drew Carey's salary per show)
"Criminal Minds" 9 pm
"'Til Death'" 8 pm
"Back to You" 8:30 pm
"American Idol" 9 pm (Boo!)
"Going Postal: 15 Most Shocking Acts of Violence" E! 8 pm
Pittsburgh Slims - "Girls Kiss Girls"
Check back in a few, for your Hottie of the Day and to see whats happening today. Also check my archives for cool shit you may have missed.
In the meantime leave me the hell alone. Jesus I hate it when you get all clingy
So this guy has to be the creep of the year.
"Josef Fritzl, 73, imprisoned Elisabeth in the cellar in 1984, when she was aged 18, but police revealed that he had started planning the dungeon as early as 1978.
The moustachioed septuagenarian, dubbed a "monster" in the Austrian press, received planning permission to extend his house at 40 Ybbsstrasse in 1978, and worked on it for five years.Fritzl has confessed to imprisoning and raping his daughter, now 42, and will be interviewed by investigating prosecutors later this week, possibly Wednesday or Thursday, spokesman Gerhard Sedlacek said." AFP
Words to live by I say.
What costs $3 million dollars and no one gives a crap about? No not that.
That'll be a commercial for the super bowl.
"The $3 million mark has never been the starting price for a commercial at the Super Bowl, though individual slots have sold for that much before, the report said.
Prices to buy a 30-second spot for the 2008 Super Bowl averaged $2.7 million, it was reported earlier." Reuters
Alright lets see, if I diversify some funds, move some things around, punch my nephew in the face and take his allowance, smash my goddaughter's piggy bank. That will still leave me as a broke douchebag.
Everyone's favorite tight end...No not Kim Kardashian. Washington Redskins' Chris Cooley was on the Blog Show and he talks about his hot fiance, beer bongs, and overpaid NFL Rookies. With Leather.
Randy Moss found a nice filly to ride at the Kentucky Derby.
Here is how to apply for the NBA Draft. Awful Announcing.
Basketbawful's Word of the Day. Mario
Sid Rosenberg's website is something else. Don't call him a Hein because he'll slit your throat.
Monday, May 5, 2008
HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
First some fun(?) facts about Cinco de Mayo
"Cinco de Mayo means 'The Fifth of May'" (Phew glad they cleared that up)
"Guadalajara, Mexico’s second largest city, is where the Mexican Hat Dance, sombreros and mariachi music are believed to have originated." (Thank you Guadalajara)
"A Mexican cowboy is called a 'charro.' A Mexican rodeo is called a 'charreada.'" (Mmm charreada)
Check out the rest of the facts here.
Now we can't have a great celebration without some food and beer.
"Serve extremely thin corn tortillas, historically signaling the most elite of the upper crust, and bypass the Corona beer in favor of Negro Modelo or Tecatethe brews that Mexicans think you should be drinking anyway." (Good enough for Mexico good enough for me)
"They say, 'Why do Americans buy Corona or Carta Blanca?' " (They have big shiny displays)
"He watches with interest as tortillerias bloom throughout Colorado and the Southwest, evidence that in less than 20 years, tortillas have become so assimilated into U.S. cuisine that sales are surpassed only by white bread." (Lesbians and white people oppressing someone! That article took a turn for the worse)
Read the rest here.
Whats a party without some nerds ruining our buzz.
"Today thousands of Americans will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with Mexican food and drinks, such as Coronas, margaritas and enchiladas. What they may not know is that Cinco de Mayo didn’t even originate in Mexico." (Dude your totally blowing up our spot! Dick!)
So what? Hallmark invented Valentine's Day. Yet not one woman in history has ever said "No I will not take that diamond necklace honey, this holiday is a shame!"
"The cash-register display blinks up party items: three dozen limes, four bags of chips, a 25-foot-long palm tree and ... six-pack after six-pack after six-pack of Corona beer. Finally, these words ring up on the register: "Are You Ready for Cinco de Mayo?" The TV commercial's implicit point? That Cinco de Mayo (May 5) is nothing but a time to get totally wasted."(I see no problem with that)
Alright now go do whatever the hell you want because frankly I don't give a damn.
My friend Jamie gives us the behind the scenes on the future Jim Carrey movie and eggplant. Cupcake Pajamas
To apologize, Papa John's will sell Cleveland residents a large, one-topping pizza for 23 cents on Thursday. The 23 is an homage to James' jersey number. The company also will donate $10,000 to the Cavaliers Youth Fund." AP
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The Jazz once again showed everyone how incompetent they are away from home and got smacked by the Lakers in game one of their second round series. I don't understand how the Jazz can be this bad away from home I mean what the hell? Do Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer have some one wipe their asses because I'm pretty sure they are retarded away from Utah.
Lots of MLB action today.
Hockey is a game enjoyed by Canadians.
This Sunday sucked...Come back later there will be other things on here.
Sports by Brooks keeps us update to date on the Reggie Bush law suit that not a soul cares about. I think if you have the last name Bush you can pretty much get involved in any scandal and no one will be surprised.
Cedric Benson RB Bears, drunk while boating then pepper sprayed.
Its now time to enjoy some Sunday Afternoon Boobage. (NSFW)
More later... D
Thats the kind of answer you get from someone that is fucking someone else but just doesn't want to admit it because he knows it will hurt his rep.
I hope its not true...all that loose skin...oh...I just had to hold back some vomit. Like I was saying I hope its not true. I mean come on Wade everybody is fucking Kim Kardasian I know you can get some of that action.
As for Star Jones... WTF Bitch?! All of a sudden that dude is not good enough for you? He seemed perfect 150 lbs ago. Hell that guy should be awarded the Medal of Honor for banging you when you looked like a rhino. Geez you'd think a person wouldn't change after they've had 90% of their stomach removed.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
There were a bunch of baseball games played.
The Hornets defeated the Spurs in a game that saw a 20 min delay between the first and second quarters because the Hornets mascot was a GENIUS! (Story below)
The Pistons defeated the Orlando Magic in I'm pretty sure a game that no one had any idea was being played today. Dwight Howard hurt his thumb all accounts from the game say that Howard was trying to touch that white crap in Rasheed Wallace's hair and jammed it.
Some horse that reminds people of doodie won the Kentucky Derby, another horse was killed on the track, and Hank Goldberg got fatter live on TV.
Some redneck drove his car faster than other rednecks.
The Olympic torch is now in China. Won't be long now till they use that bad boy to burn any dissidents.
Evidentially hockey season is not over yet...WHO KNEW?
I found out that Kennedy is still alive.
Oh and my dog ate a dead bird, then left it for me as a gift in the middle of the kitchen. I still love that bitch.
Looks like a Baseball game broke out in the middle of a movie being shot.
"A backdrop to the Marlins beating the Padres, 6-4, on Friday night was the shooting of a scene for the upcoming movie 'Marley & Me,' starring Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson.
Friday was a "Bark at the Park" night for the Marlins, a promotion through which fans can bring their dogs to the stadium. And as it happened, a dog running on the field is part of a scene in the movie..." MLB
Wow two big time celebrities filming a movie during a baseball game. Why didn't anyone hear about this? Oh yea...No one goes to Marlins games.
Shit if celebrities want to get away from all the invasion of privacy they suffer from everyday they should attend Marlins games, can't get any more private and secluded than that.
You know since this site is in it's infancy stages I'd thought I would help it out by posting links to some sexy cheerleader pics. There have been a rash of these types of activities in recent memory. (YEA YEA we should all have this rash)
Recently the Arizona State University Cheerleaders partook in the underwear shanigans. With Leather has the Story and The Dirty has the pics.
The Sacramento King dancers? YES!
Don Chavez has some NSFW pics of an Indiana Cheerleader that goes beyond the panties.
I am sure more to come in the future.
Coaching boys should have been easy for this guy, but unfortunately his boner got in the way.
"According to Champlin Police, 23-year-old Phillip Franklin Chwialkowski allegedly sent inappropriate text messages to two 11-year-old boys. One of them attends Oxbow Creek Elementary School where Chwialkowski works as an Adventures Plus staff member.
One of the boy's parents found a message on his phone from Chwialkowski asking for a naked picture." KAALtv
You know this situation only brings one question to mind for me.
Why was I never hit on when I was a kid? Was I not cute and supple enough?
For those that don't mind the smell you can check the pictures on one my favorite sites(NSFW) WWTDD.
2. Some Mexican guy at a soccer game nailed a cop with a bass drum. With Leather
3. Basketbawful has helped me come up with the new slogan for the NBA Playoffs. "The NBA Playoffs where thug tactics happen."
4. HOLY FUCK! Someone actually is considering having sex with Carrot Flop! Now I don't know if the girl in these pictures even had sex with him but for her sake lets hope he misplaced his prop suitcase. dlisted
5. My friend Dana is a reporter for 790 The Ticket in Miami, FL. She's on the Marlins beat right now and Dana gets the scoop straight from the players check out her blog right here.
6. Girls in underwear is always nice and its nicer when they are cheerleaders. SPORTS by BROOKS.
Also check out Ironman its awesome.
Look for more things to check out and coming soon other shit.
For this next post I think I'm going to reenact the New Orleans Hornets meeting between the PR staff and the Marketing team.
Marketing guy(MG) 1 - "Alright this is the first time in history that a basketball team from New Orleans has made it to the second round of the playoffs. How can we make a big splash?"
Mascot Douche(MD) - "Umm I can dunk a basketball through a ring of fire."
MG 1 - "PERFECT!"
MG 2 - "That doesn't sound very safe and maybe something..."
MG 1 - "QUIET YOU!"
MD - "Yea Dude, what can possibly go wrong?"
"Trouble putting out a ring of fire used in a mascot stunt caused a 19-minute delay during Game 1 of the San Antonio Spurs and New Orleans Hornets second round playoff series Saturday night." USA Today
Mascot Douche (a day later) - "Oh."
My Very first Hottie of the day will go to Hillary Duff. Did you think I was giving it to Miley Cyrus? What kind of sicko do you take me for Karl Malone? Listen just because I go by the Motto "if there is grass on the field play ball" Doesn't mean I own any underage porn or anything like that, that would be crazy.
Anyway Hillary has grown into a smokin' hottie and she deserves the honor. If you wanna see the rest of the spread check them out at on 205th.
Apparently today was the Kentucky Derby. How did I know that because I woke up this morning turned my TV on and who's mug do I see?
None other than Hank Goldberg. I've had the misfortune of being in the same room as this guy on multiple occasions and folks it aint pretty.
However he did bang Katie Couric back in the day, you know those days when Hank didn't need a mirror to find his penis.
Anyway so some horse named Big Brown (POOP) won the derby and escaped death. Because apparently if you finish second they kill the horse.
"The race was marred by the death of runner-up Eight Belles, who collapsed after the wire after fracturing both front ankles. The brave and massive gray filly, trained by Larry Jones and owned by Fox Hill Farms, was euthanized almost immediately on track." Salem-News
Both Ankles? Who was riding this horse Shaquille O'neal. Let this be a lesson to you kids, DONT LOSE!
Did Buzz bring up some good points? Yes. However his point was lost because of the cruelty he showed towards Will Leitch.
Once Buzz had some time to think he joined Dan LeBatard from 790 The Ticket WAXY-AM in Miami. You can hear the complete interview here.
One thing, what the hell was Braylon Edwards doing there? Right at the top Braylon was asked if he read sports blogs and if he blogged himself and the answer of course was "no."
If I were a producer of that show I think that would have been the first question I would have asked him BEFORE putting him on the show. I guess T.J. Houshmandzadeh wasn't available.
Does Buzz really hate my blog? I dont think so but I hope he will in the future. Will I contribute to the dumbing down of America? I think I've been doing that for 26 years so why stop now.
I'll be posting everyday (maybe) about a various amount of things. So enjoy.