Alright I get to get piss ass drunk today and nobody will be pointing and laughing! Listen I didn't know that you were supposed to spit the wine after five secs into some new fangled spittoon. The important part is that the wine server guy has forgiven me.
HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
First some fun(?) facts about Cinco de Mayo
"Cinco de Mayo means 'The Fifth of May'" (Phew glad they cleared that up)
"Guadalajara, Mexico’s second largest city, is where the Mexican Hat Dance, sombreros and mariachi music are believed to have originated." (Thank you Guadalajara)
"A Mexican cowboy is called a 'charro.' A Mexican rodeo is called a 'charreada.'" (Mmm charreada)
Check out the rest of the facts here.
Now we can't have a great celebration without some food and beer.
"Serve extremely thin corn tortillas, historically signaling the most elite of the upper crust, and bypass the Corona beer in favor of Negro Modelo or Tecatethe brews that Mexicans think you should be drinking anyway." (Good enough for Mexico good enough for me)
"They say, 'Why do Americans buy Corona or Carta Blanca?' " (They have big shiny displays)
"He watches with interest as tortillerias bloom throughout Colorado and the Southwest, evidence that in less than 20 years, tortillas have become so assimilated into U.S. cuisine that sales are surpassed only by white bread." (Lesbians and white people oppressing someone! That article took a turn for the worse)
Read the rest here.
Whats a party without some nerds ruining our buzz.
"Today thousands of Americans will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with Mexican food and drinks, such as Coronas, margaritas and enchiladas. What they may not know is that Cinco de Mayo didn’t even originate in Mexico." (Dude your totally blowing up our spot! Dick!)
So what? Hallmark invented Valentine's Day. Yet not one woman in history has ever said "No I will not take that diamond necklace honey, this holiday is a shame!"
"The cash-register display blinks up party items: three dozen limes, four bags of chips, a 25-foot-long palm tree and ... six-pack after six-pack after six-pack of Corona beer. Finally, these words ring up on the register: "Are You Ready for Cinco de Mayo?" The TV commercial's implicit point? That Cinco de Mayo (May 5) is nothing but a time to get totally wasted."(I see no problem with that)
Alright now go do whatever the hell you want because frankly I don't give a damn.