Selling my Junk...Err Treasures

So I'm doing my first garage sale this weekend, and I have no idea what to expect. I've spoken to a few friends about it and they all have told me the same thing. "To expect lots of people to show up" but I don't know if I've done a good job promoting this thing. Sure I put an ad up in my local paper, but has anyone seen it? I got 40 flyers sitting in my car but I have no idea where to put them up (Plus I forgot to bring tape).

Good thing the Yard Sale Queen is here!

Let me tell you that I've gone all over the net researching this thing but she has given me good tips. Such as:

"Know when the major employers in your area get paid. If you know the biggest employer in the area only pays on the 1st of the month (or whatever) then schedule your yardsale for the following Saturday. Other people have told me the same thing about waiting until after the monthly Social Security checks come out. "

Thats a good one, that's why I'm thinking of having it at the local welfare office. More great advice includes:

"When pricing items, keep in mind that "a third of what it costs new" is only a guideline. No one cares that you paid $75 for your advanced quantum physics book 10 years ago. You'll be lucky to sell it at all. Try to look at your stuff objectively. Do you really think people will be knocking down your door to get at your old t-shirts with stains on them? That's why they make good rags. If you have a bunch of items that are missing pieces or broken, put it in your FREE box with a note "broken - good for parts" or something similar. "

Hey listen queenie...I'm not giving anyone my lava lamp for anything less than $75...ok maybe $10...alright its not really a lava lamp its a twig painted with a highlighter...2 bucks?

Ok lady anything thing else?

"Use commonsense and don't prop up a nice framed picture against a rocking chair on a very windy day. No, I didn't do it but I was at a yardsale where the seller had a lot of glass shards to clean up. "

I guess I'll just throw away the huge box of glass shards I was planning on selling to kids.

Alright lets see how this thing goes this weekend I hope I dont have any scammers.

"For safety reasons, its best to have another person or persons helping you conduct your yardsale. But if you can't and have some scary looking customers, you can pretend to have someone else with you - just yell into the house "Hey Bob, bring me a soda when you get a chance". It's wise to have a cordless phone or cell phone on you (in your carpenter's apron) at all times. But don't set it down, because someone will want to buy it!"

That is great advice so I'll make sure my friends Desert Eagle and Glocky McGlockenstein help me out during the sale.

Alright I'm ready to do this!

Never Leave Us Again!

Now I'm not one to really post lots of celebrity stuff on here because that is just not my style, but this is big news.

If Conan's move to the "Tonight Show" ain't grand enough, stuff just got grander!

Andy Richter is back! And I'm glad because this guy has talent, sure he may not have hollywood looks, he may be a little portly, sometimes even if you squint your eyes a little you can see a little of porky pig.

"Andy is back.

Yes, Andy. Who left. Moved back to the Evil Empire in California. Tried his hand at a couple of sitcoms - one of 'em, per my recollection, pretty good. Learned about the cold cruel fate of cancellation.

And probably wished he'd never left in the first place...

...And has now been re-united with Conan O'Brien." Newsday

So what that he had two sitcoms on two different networks and each of them failed miserably and most of the parts he got in movies were 3rd tier roles that would only have one or two lines. I still love the guy and more importantly Conan loves the guy. Welcome back Andy. Who knows maybe you to can one day pass out giant novelty checks to unsuspecting families.

Video of the Day

Morning Wood

Once in a while I'll actually wake up before noon. So here is my Morning Wood. (Most links Not Safe For Work - NSFW)

It was fashion week in NYC last week and it finally looks like the fashion industry is starting to cater to the important demografic - Straight dudes. WWTDD (NSFW)

Its that time of year again, no not spring training, its Lindsay Lohan posing topless. Last year Lohan bared it all for New Yorker Magazine. Well this time around she poses for someone named Heidi Slimane? WHO? Who cares its Linsday sideboob!

BEYONCE NIP SLIP!!! Thats it? I've seen better nip slips at my local mall (not too sexy however)

MMA bombshell Gina Carano posed for Maxim. Hello UFC what the fuck are you waiting for? Sign her! SportsbyBrooks

Happy Wanking!

Woo-Hoo!!!

Baseball is officially back! Yea I know spring training started last week, ARod's been cycling the roids since '01, Barry Bonds and Miguel Tejada lied to congress, we found out Bud Selig makes 18 mil a year (for what?), and Joe Torre wrote a book.

However none of that shit matters anymore! Because today spring training games begin officially. That is what I love about baseball no matter what happens in the offseason all is forgiven once the games start. Yea I'm a loser I know.

Here is your MLB 2009 Spring Training schedule.

Golf is Huge!

Well its time to start paying attention to golf. Why you ask? If you don't know by now you'll never know, but Tiger Woods is back so whip out the champagne! Well at least advertisers and the PGA is celebrating already.

"Television ratings, ticket sales, media coverage and general interest in golf have declined significantly since Woods was forced to miss the second half of last season and the first 20% of 2009. The Tour remains on solid financial footing, but the worldwide recession is raising doubts about crucial sponsorship agreements for about 20 tournaments whose deals are set to expire in 2010 — including 10 from the battered automobile and financial services industries." USA TODAY.

Interest declined? That is the understatement of the month. I wouldn't say interest declined I would say golf fell into a vegatative state right after the U.S. Open last year. Does anyone remember who won the British? Does anyone know who won the FedEx Cup? Did you even know there was a FedEx Cup?

Tiger will tee off today at 2pm in the Accenture Match Play Championship. Match play means he wont be playing the course but he'll be trying to beat his opponent which is good for Tiger because this guy can intimidate Jesus. So who is Tiger's first victim? None other than Brendan Jones...WHO?

"Jones said, "I didn't fly all this way to try to lose, but if I get beat by anybody, I would like to get beat by Tiger." Chicago Tribune.

Well alright that settles that. Jones is from Australia and he has won eight tournaments...in Japan!

Time to Move to Jersey! (Maybe)

Well we have another marijuana bill going through another state government this time its New Jersey (can you smell that smell?)

"I've been pleasantly surprised that the overwhelming response has been positive," said state Sen. Jim Whelan, D-Atlantic, who is sponsoring the measure with Sen. Nicholas Scutiari, D-Union, Somerset Middlesex.

The New Jersey Compassionate Use Medical Marijuana Act would require the state Department of Health and Senior Services to issue registration cards to patients who have been diagnosed with debilitating medical conditions. They would then be allowed to keep six marijuana plants and have an ounce of marijuana in their possession.

It would also create "alternative treatment centers" that would provide marijuana to registered patients." Press of Atlantic City

Basically it would be the same deal that Southern Californians have with their dispensaries. The difference is you'll get to grow your own pot.

They voted on this bill yesterday so we should find out what happens in a few weeks. Lets hope it passes Jersey, it might be a reason to visit. I said" might" still got a chip away at that whole New Jersey sucks thing.